Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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If John has 50 candybars and eats 45 of them how many does he have left? Diabetes.

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A hermaphrodite walks into a bakery, orders an eclair, then leaves.

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Goldilocks walks into a bar. But its not really a bar, it's a bear cave and she is eaten by porridge eating bears.

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Why are there no swimming pools in Mexico? The average yearly income is $3,523, and pool chemicals are very expensive.

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A man laughs creepily and another man asks him what he's doing he says I have a creepy laugh so the man asks him why he was laughing the man says there's a boy over there that has a frog stapled to his face!!!!!!!!!

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What did the midget say to the leprechaun? Nothing.....midgets don't usually converse with leprechauns....and leprechauns aren't real.

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What did Helen Keller say after the Iron Maiden show? Nothing, she is a mute.

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What do you call a guy and two girls are at the bottom of the ocean? A guy and two girls at the bottom of the ocean.

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How many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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What did Delaware? A coat.

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How do you make a basketball team short You cut off their legs

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Robocop and T-800 argue over who can run the fastest, Robocop claims he is the fastest, while T-800 says that he is the fastest. To settle things once and for all, they start a race. At first T-800 seems to be leading Then the T-800 is leading by a great distance. moments later the T-800 has a huge lead. But then suddenly, without any warning, the race shifts! T-800 is now leading only by a great distance! Yet in a amazing, and completely unexpected plot-twist. T-800 wins! Moral: :O

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? NOT SALLY

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how do you get out of a room with no windows or doors? you don't.

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Pitbull is Mr. Worldwide because his music sucks everywhere in the world

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Roses are red Violets are blue I picked them in the meadow this morning

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A young gay man comes out of the closet to his conservative, Christian parents. Everything went better than expected.

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Why did the astronaut drop his toolbox? Because he ran out of air.

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What'f funny and has 8 wheels? The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobel Nobel who? There was no bell, that's why I'm knocking you idiot

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knock knock who's there?

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Black Person Eating Fried Chicken

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Every zoo is a petting zoo if you're not a pussy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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