Yo mama is an upstanding member of her community.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

melon

thumb_up thumb_down +4

President Donald Trump

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why can't Brent speak at the moment? Because he is eating his ice-cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you get wen u cross a cat and a walrus? Two animals with very different life styles.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why is Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven was a creepy movie, and it gave Six nightmares.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bucket of poop. The Mexican is a human the bucket of poop is an object filled bodily wastes.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

when your cable is on the fritz, you play video games instead. when you play video games, you get good. when you get good, you go to COD XP. when you go to COD XP, you lose to whiteboy 7th st. when you lose to whiteboy 7th st., you get into Skyrim. when you get into skyrim, you reenact cut scenes from skyrim. and when you reenact cut scenes from skyrim... ...you take an arrow to the knee... ...don't take an arrow to the knee. Get rid of cable.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the bottom of a pit? Whatever his parents named him.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than a bee sting? Getting shot in the head

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the little boy say after he was pushed off the cliff? Nothing. He died, therefore, he is incapable of speaking.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What happened to the 16 year old pregnant black woman? A: She gave birth to a baby in 9 months.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's funnier than an knock knock joke???? Dancing narwhals pooping talking soup

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If life gives you lemons, get some seeds from them and plant them. Then in a few years you'll have a lemon tree. Then take some lemons off that tree and throw them at people saying "Here's your stupid lemons, people".

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats blue and smells like red paint? If you know the answer then you should probably stop sniffing paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Hey I just met? you and this is crazy I have alzheimers Hey I just met you

thumb_up thumb_down +2

who's sexually attracted to bones? James Cornish

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do u call it when a Jamaican gets angrey? Nothing, at all. Just an angrey person

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you stop someone from simply copying an already posted anti-joke? No, seriously, how do you?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Nicholas Salek did not write the message below. It was a joke one of his mates played!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How did the magician make his assistant disappear? He killed her and then cremated her body

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you do when jews take over your country? Invade Poland.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call two gay black men in one sleeping bag? There names

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops