your momma's so fat i almost didn't have sex with her.... almost.

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Someone stole my cookie from the cookie jar! So I bought another cookie.

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you know what ice cream's made out of, right? milk.

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KNOCK KNOCK! Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! Umm... Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! OMG I SWEAR TO GOD WHO THE HECK IS THERE?!?!? KNOCK KNOCK! *opens door* Oh.... It was a woodpecker...

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Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

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How do you get 2000 people to go to heaven? Blow up a school.

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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whats funny? a relatsion ship for 16 hours

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Im going to the patriots jets game this year..... When the kick a feild goal and you see two kids wearing lime green holding up a poster that says BRADY LIKES SAGGY BALLS that will be me and my friend -RT

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i used to be gay. now i am bisexual.

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Why did the black man rob the store? Because he was hard on money for a reason not associated with race or stereotypes whatsoever.

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go up to some one and say "i told you it would happen" with a straight face and walk away. it should cause a LOT of confusion.

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If she's old enough to count, she's probably in second grade.

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Q: Why is the earth round? A: I am Batman.

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Why did Lucy have blond hair? Answer: Because both her parents had recessive traits.

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where do you find sunglasses at? the store

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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A little girl had a sleepover with her friends. They watched a movie, then went to bed at a reasonable time. /

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who's sexually attracted to bones? James Cornish

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Roses are red. I have OCD. That rose IS red right.. Let me check again.

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EGGPLANT

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What do you call a black doctor? A doctor you racist

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Knock knock! Who's there? Boo! Boo who? Aww, don't cry!

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Your mother is a stupid bitch. For real.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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