Why did the plane crash? The pilots had brain damage.

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why did the homeless man buy a mansion? he didn't. i lied. he would need a job to be able to buy a mansion.

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Why did the man go to sleep at 9:30? Because his mom told him to

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. It is ignorant and offensive to judge the world of cardinal numbers, where protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary, by the standards of human societies.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to see its chicks that got run over by a car.

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What do you call a man with a towel on his head? A good target.

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There was a man on a park bench and he saw a duck fly by so he decided to go and see what it was up to. He saw that it was just going for a swim in a near by pond. He died 2 years ago of auto erotic asphyxiation because of a common fetish.

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Q. How did the blind man survive from walking of a cliff? A. He didn't he died

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was a metaphor.

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Roses are Red Violets are dog I'm Senile Flower tastes like frog.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables.

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin mobile XD

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there is a black guy riding a bicycle. he is extremely skilled on it and says he has never fallen off.

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once upon a time there was a cripple little girls who lived in an orfanage were she got raped then beat .

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Your such a whore, you most likely cut your own clothes so people will see more of your body that they find physically attractive and make a partner for sex easier to obtain

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Why did the fat guy sit on another guy? They were in a wrestling match.

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What's funny? At the exact moment you read this, someone is suffering from domestic abuse.

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How do u make a fat person cry......... tell em mc donnalds is closed (^_^)

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Deadly cancer.

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Why did the little girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms..

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So a Dog walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of skotch, the bartender realizes he must be dreaming. At that very moment he realises he is in a lucid dream. Since this is the case he decides to murder his wife who is in bed right next to him as an expiriment. Since its a lucid dream it doesnt matter. Next he goes down to the fridge and pulls out some old pizza. He sits down for about half an hour eating it along with a box of tuis that also magically appeared in his fridge. Then he goes outside steals the neighbours car takes it for a ride to his Sister-In-Laws house who he has always wanted to root. He goes over breaks the window with his hand. The lucid dream feels so real to him because he pains from the glass in his hand and then he goes up stairs finds his sister-in-law sleeping so he hops into bed with her. At the same moment the police arrive because they followed him from his home were they recieved complants they heard him kill his wife. Everything starts to turn into a nightmare, so scared he trys to make himself wake up. However he cannot. This is not a lucid dream. This is reality. Pizza was in his fridge because he had it for dinner the night before, Beer did not magically appear. his wife had bought it when she went gorccery shopping. He killed his wife, then stole his neighbours car and attempted to rape his Sister-in-law. So now he is going to jail. And no lawyer wants to take up the case so this man is doomed. No hope at all of ever being a free man again

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What's small and red that sits in a corner? A baby with a razor blade.

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Why did Robert fall off his bike?? Because he was a potato.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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