What Does the Duck Say? "Got any grapes?"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the boy with no eyes get for Christmas? Glasses

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than 1000 babies tied to a tree? 1 baby tied to 1000 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what is the difference between Stephani and a whale? A whale is skinnier... get the harpoonns

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the little boy enter the white van, then leave scarred for life? He was going on a family trip within the said white van, but along the way they got in a horrible accident which involved a bus, a tractor, and finally a steamroller. The boy quickly escaped at the last second only to watch his family scream as the steamroller slowly crushed the van where they were trapped inside. He then broke down into tears and depression and finished it all by jumping off a bridge. It was a truly tragic incident.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What do you call a Deer with no eyes? A: No ideer. Q; What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? A: Still no ideer.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red violets are blue my d*** is bigger than you.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I could even argue that having blood on your penis is kinda fun sometimes.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

knock knock whos there !!!!!.....WE.....ARE.......SPARTANSSSS.....!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

your mama is so stupid stole a free sample

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is the quickest way to a mans heart? Through his chest with a stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Waht do chinease people and gambling machines have in common? They both say chink chink chink chink chink chinck

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than Fantasy Basketball? Playing Fantasy WNBA.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Libyans stage a protest. They get massacred.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the Rabbi say to the priest? The holocaust was real and it tore apart my family.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Yoshy is gay and likes men. From Jarod ????

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A person expresses their opinion online. Another person thanks them for sharing their opinion but kindly disagrees, then he wishes the other person to have a good day.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the bottom of a pit? Whatever his parents named him.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do you call a Muslim flying a plane A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the black family cry? Tyler Perry died

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A dog is walking down the street. The dog catcher promptly arrives and takes him to the pound. Two months later the dog is in a new, happy home with a wonderful family.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops