Roses are red Violets are blue I am disabled, so please help me poo.

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How do you make a frog stand still? Shoot it.

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My grandmother always said "slow and steady wins the race."...... She died in a fire

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What's made of wood and has an eraser? a 2x4 i lied about the eraser.

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ask me if I'm a tree.. are you a tree? no.

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Little Justin's bike has a flat tire has a flat tire. He asks his dad to inflate it. "Sure Justin I can fix that for you." Said his father. But he overinflates the tire, causing the tire to explode and ignite the chemicals. The house burns to the ground, killing Justin and his parents. The fire then spreads and the hole city burns. 50,000 people die.

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If you rape a prostitute is it shop lifting?

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Q: What did Cyclops say to Wolverine? A: "We're both X-Men!"

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What do black people eat for breakfast? Cereal.

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What did the cowboy say to the skunk? You smell.

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What did the transvestite hooker say when he/she saw a robot fighting a dinosaur? That's strange.

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How did jimmy get hurt?? someone throw a fridge at him..

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Justin Bieber got laid

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What's the difference between a model and a baby? I didn't have sex with a model last night.

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how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop!? thats what she said

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Why did the girl scream? Someone shot her mom

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Q. Why did the woman fall out of the tree? A. Cause she got laid

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A married couple lies in bed, making out. They must really love each other.

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No, I do not have the will, I have a family now, I make a living writing fiction, and well, play a small role in keeping not national, but worldwide stability in such things as the economics. The thing is, that you are renegades, you do not break the law, but you like to do things your own way, that gets you enemies among the so called "paragons" in the face of society and media. Its just like back in the days, if CIA, The Feds, Interpol and such are known as the "Paragons of civilization" or "the good guys" if you prefer, they can point towards you guys, and say "these are evil", and then nothing can stop them.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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A guy says a joke. It was not funny

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alston wang

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How do you know a thief has been using your computer? It's missing.

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There was a girl who was allergic to peanuts she ate peanuts and died the next day. She got hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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