The man who invented the teleprompter has died at the age of 91. When President Obama heard the news, he was speechless.

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Q: What did the blonde woman say? A: My hair is blonde

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If you like this song so much why don't you marry it? Because a divorce would be tough on the kids

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what is the difference between Stephani and a whale? A whale is skinnier... get the harpoonns

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What do you get when you cross an orangatang with a grizzly bear? Nothing, they just walk past each other unless the bear eats the shit out of the monkey then feeds it to her cubs

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hi im phill

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Justin Bieber's Never Say Never 3D came out the other day. I went to see it, and it was a pretty good movie.

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Why do Vampires Sparkle in the Sunlight? They don't read a proper Vampire Novel and see for yourself.

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Why did the pig walk into the bar Because he was thirsty

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Yoshy is gay and likes men. From Jarod ????

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What did the Rabbi say to the priest? The holocaust was real and it tore apart my family.

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Libyans stage a protest. They get massacred.

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Why did Janie miss school today? Because she fell in a well.

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knock knock whos there !!!!!.....WE.....ARE.......SPARTANSSSS.....!!!!!!

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What is the quickest way to a mans heart? Through his chest with a stick.

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how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop!? thats what she said

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender.

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What did Hellen Keller call her dog? Kamikaze-go, because he was an Akita from Japan and that was his name.

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A dog is walking down the street. The dog catcher promptly arrives and takes him to the pound. Two months later the dog is in a new, happy home with a wonderful family.

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Why did the black family cry? Tyler Perry died

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What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

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what do you call a Muslim flying a plane A pilot

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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