roses are red, violets are red, a girl had her period in my garden.

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What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

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What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? I agree to the terms of service.

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Why did the Jewish man dive into the street to pick up a penny? He was Tevye, a character from the famous play Fiddler on the Roof and pennies are valuable and rare in Tsarist Russia in 1905.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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whats dead and gone your nanas cat

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A blonde sits down in first class on a flight to Miami. That's because she had a ticket for the seat.

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Your momma's so dumb, she had to spend an extra hour studying for her mathematics test.

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IM SEXY AND I KNOW IT Chrysanthemums are pretty but toads and people are damn to horny

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Why is Kyle so gay. Nobody knows

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A black man and a white man and a chinese man are sitting together: Cultural Diversity.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Does this cloth smell like chloroform to you!

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Roses are red violets are blue hes for me not for you if by chance you take my place ill take my fist and smash your face

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25

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Your mama's so poor, that it's hard for her to pay her bills.

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? "I am an undercover police office and you're under arrest for prostitution, ma'am."

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How do you stop a charging rhinocerous? Nuke africa.

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Poem Of Love: Each time i see you i feel like i need you and i love you.. i hope you became my girl and live with me cause without you i can't live.

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How do you make a burns victim cry? You show them a mirror.

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what do u call a gay dinosaur megasoreass

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No.

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How do you catch a unique rabbit? You could probably find many of them in the vicinity of Chernobyl. The radiation has probably created thousands of mutations. They are probably not as fast as regular rabbits.

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Q: What is that white stuff in chicken shit? A: Thats chicken shit too

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What's funny about the old man who got stabbed? Nothing... you're a sick person!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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