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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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mark is mark

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Who is blue and smells like green paint? Matt Daly

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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There was a man sinking in quick sand. He looked in the sky and said, "God, if you spare my life, I'll be a great person and believe in you all my life." He died.

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Why did Miley Cyrus have to buy a new tour bus? The old one stopped twerking.

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What do you get when you cross an orangatang with a grizzly bear? Nothing, they just walk past each other unless the bear eats the shit out of the monkey then feeds it to her cubs

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Why doesn't business go well for pizzeria Vesuvio? Their chef has been dead since many years.

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How many women's right's leaders does it take to change a light bulb? None. They can't change anything.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she got shot in the heart with a bolt action sniper rifle and died.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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Q: wanna hear a racist joke? A: sure RB: You're pathetic!

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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what do you do to gay guy who wants to have anal sex with you? beat him with a steel baseball bat in his face.

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"Have you ever seen a blacksmith?" "No." "Me neither."

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i feel like when the radish was discovered someone was like "hey lets call it rad!" and another guy was like "lets dial it down a bit"

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a duck walks into a restraunt.and the waiter asks "what would you like?" a quacker (like cracker)

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That awkward moment when you walk in on your economics teacher shagging Danii ... Anyone ?

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How do you catch wet wood on fire? Ask a business owner in Ferguson, MO, to keep it in their store.

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I got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen.

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What's worse than having a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he needed to get to the store across the street.

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I'm Color Blind F*CK

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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