whats the difference between a rapist and a pedophile? the racist has his own whistle

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a Jew that is half Jewish and a Jew that is fully Jewish? 1/2

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A.how does a penguin change a light bulb? A.the same way all other penguins change a lightbulb

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Yo mama is so fat, she eats three times the normal amount of calories one should eat in a single day. This resulted in her early demise, to which you mourned for numerous months before accepting the fact that she was gone.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock knock Who's there Your son and his vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you think JFK would be doing if he was alive today? Yelling for help and trying to somehow escape his coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A woodchuck could chuck wood but a woodchuck couldn't chuck Norris because Norris isn't a type of wood.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock knock Who's there? You're adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the same between a school bus and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a muffin and a scone? One's a muffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!" She is laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what does brb mean? ...be right back? ...ok hurry i need to know the answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock. Who's there. To. To who. To whom.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a Justin Beiber concert and a hedgehog? With a hedgehog, the pricks are on the outside, but in a Justin Beiber concert, the pricks are on the inside.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q.What do you call a apple with a unibrow? A. A failed science experiment!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red, violets are blue, I slipped you some roofies You'll be out in a few

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's better than winning the Paralympics? Having legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock knock. Death.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I swear to drunk officer I'm not god.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

This is an inappropriate joke and is meant to make you laugh

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. "Knock, Knock" "Who's There?" "Not Sally."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Suzie hates cancer, Her granny got killed by a driver that suffered from it

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you get a blond to fall over? Shoot her with a shotgun.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops