What's black and makes me food? A microwave.

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What do birds need when they are sick? Most wild animals die when they are sick. However, they can sometimes be nursed back to health with special food and electrolyte solutions in special animal rehabilitation centres.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse, thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly defecates on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few chairs and tables.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was Friday night (or Halloween or St. Patty's Day) and the chicken was at a party. He got totally drunk, and then got the bright idea that it would be okay to drive home. On a rural two-lane highway, his vehicle careened into the oncoming traffic lane, and then the ditch, thus crossing the road. Fortunately, he walked away with only a few scratches. However, he was cited for wreckless driving, and got a DUI as well.

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A dislexic man walks into a bra. He then proceeds to enjoy the breasts that he has stumbled upon.p

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbour. My neighbour who? Timothy, welcome to the neighbourhood!

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I pooped my pants

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"jrfevkhbgjk" said the retard.

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Badgers are cool

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Me: Sometimes I like to talk to myself. Me: So do I.

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how long is a peice of string howeverlong you want to make it

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A man says to a woman, "hey, bitch, shut your fucking mouth you goddamn hooker." Most hookers are used to it.

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A man walked into a bar. He sustained a mild concussion and a brusied pelvis

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Zach Barlow

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What do you call a white man flying a plane? A pilot. What do you call an Arab man flying a plane? Also a pilot.

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Wanna know something fishy? A fish

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what is long and bare? polonaise to the pediatric ward what is short and bald? same polonaise, 3 weeks later

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Guess what! what haha u listened to me

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What can you conclude about a black man in a mercedes? He has crack and car insurance.

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a man is having trouble getting onto the internet on his home computer. so he he calls a computer technician to help him. \

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What's worse than dropping you ice-cream cone? Signing your post on Anti-joke.com

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Yo' Mama's so old that her age is over the average age of most people.

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Why do babies cry on airplanes? Because gay people are getting married.

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John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops