If a woman was born in China, raised in France and got married and died in New Orleans, what is she? Dead.

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Q:What's worse then Finding A Worm in Your apple? A: Realizing how empty your life is.

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I don't know what was a bigger disappointment, the series finale of "Lost" or--sorry I thought I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.

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Knock Knock Who's There?? Its the police your family have died in a tragic road accident

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What is worse the the Holocaust? Nothing

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A gay man walks into a biker bar and orders a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you want ice with that?"

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Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boys II Men? A. He thought it was a home delivery service.

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jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water jack collapsed because of serious drug abuse and stress jill followed after not being able to handle the tragedy of her brothers death this wouldn't have happened if they got into my van when i asked them too.

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(read this aloud): A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. Him and the giraffe order multiple shots and get hammered. The giraffe on the other hand can't hold his liquor so well, and ends up passing out on the floor of the bar. The man decides to leave him there and take off. On his way out, the bartender yells, "Hey, you can't just leave that lyin' there!" and the man says, "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe!"

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What do Gay horses eat? Cheese.

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So a white president,a mexican president, and a black president,are on a plane and its going down. The white president wishes he was a dove, and he flies away to safety. Then the mexican president wishes he was an eagle and he flies away to safety. Then the black president falls out the plane and says o s**t and turns into poop.

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why did matt daly shit his pants? he had downs

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What happened to Liam? He Died.

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Why doesn't Santa Claus change his socks on Christmas Eve? Because he isn't real.

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An asian, black man and a white guy are stranded in a desert with no food and no water, so what do they do Die

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split your ass cheek

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knock knock. whos there?(haha ive never made my own joke before) Nick Nick who? Nick Saghir Oh, come in. Would you like some cookies?

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what is worse than finding a dead worm in an apple? Obama being elected a second time

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whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon ones a live the other isnt

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You know you're a redneck when you come from a rural area and behave as such.

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What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Billy. Oh, come on in. You could have just knocked on my door or rang doorbell without saying "Knock Knock" though, that's kind of childish.

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Is that a baby in your carriage or are you just happ..... WTF. WHERES ITS EYES!? **purges**

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How many dead babies can you fit in a sink? I don't know i forgot to turn the garbage disposal off

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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