How do you scare Chris Ferguson? No one knows, he always has a pokerface on.

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what's the fastest way to have someone murder you tell your wife you are cheating on her

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of problems with money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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What did Obama get at the bar? A shot... In the head.

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Q: Why cant dinosaurs talk A: Because they are dead.

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Why was the crazy person allowed to leave the asylum? The ombusman's report will be on your desk this morning minister.

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Why was the guy sad? His son killed himself after being constantly bullied for 6 years.

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Why are Ethiopians so fast? Because antelope are also very fast.

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Your mama's so fat that she killed herself because she was so depressed about her weight.

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A man using Apple Maps walks into a bar. Or maybe a hospital... or possibly a church.

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Why did the Asian woman crash her car? She couldn't see through the slits she called eyes.

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Why was Michael Jackson seen shopping at Kmart? Because he heard little boys pants were 50% off the original price.

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because he was hungry and mcdonalds was across the street

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A black man rode down the street on a bicycle.

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Why was the boy crying last night? - a clown raped him

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What do you call a black guy that drives a plane? A pilot

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Your Momma is so old, she started exercising more and eating healthier to increase the chance of her living long enough to enjoy your own children's lives.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -Why? I don't know,I'm asking you the question.

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A dermatologist walks into a strip club. He tells the stripper she has hives on her back and that she needs to go to a clinic, then gets up from his lap dance and reports her to management.

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amy mcguire is soo amazing! i love her

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Jameson: hey peter peter parker: what Jameson: do you know what my favorite kind of beans are Peter: no Jameson: van de camps

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Melbourne Football Club.

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What do you call a black man at harvard? Probably a criminal who is in harvard law trying to find a good lawyer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops