A mushroom walked into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom said, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender said, "Exactly. It's a health hazard. I already have two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the little boy? May God be with you.

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What did the father say to his daughter? "I'm going to rape you."

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What's more annoying than a mosquito? the Sandy Hook Massacre

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b r o k e n k e y b o a r d ! ! p l e a s e h e l p ! ! ! ! !

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Why did the man laugh when he saw someone using a shake weight? He remembered Dane Cook's stand up preformance from the night before.

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What did the hat say to the other hat? Nothing, because hats don't talk, stupid.

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What happened when Aladdin rubbed his lamp? It got slightly cleaner.

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What's Worse Than Unripened Fruit? Crippling Depression.

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A terrorist walks into a bomb shop. He soon realizes he's in the wrong shop, leaves and goes on with his day.

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What's black and white and red all over it? Not a newspaper because red is not all over it. Answers to this question may vary.

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If life gives you lemons, steal the declaration of independance and use the lemons and a hair dryer to reveal the numbers on the back. Then enbark on an epic journey that ends with the discovery of the templars treasure. Lastly, use the money you earned to buy some lemons and make some lemonade.

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What has 2 brown legs and 2 gray legs? An elephant with diarrhea.

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

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A girl was walking home from school, she had a pizza box in her hands, her mom was waiting for her in the car to take her to T.G.I.F, and then she dropped the pizza box in the middle of the street. In a frantic attemp to get the box, she run out into the middle of the street and got hit by a semi. Her funeral is tomorrow.

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this sentence will not monkey banana pie

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did Jake have a bad spring break? Because he got hit by a car and died

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Why is Cindy crying? She got a branch stuck in her eye which irritated her sensitive cornea so her tear duct produced a tear to help shed the material from her eye.

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Lethal injection is a lot more humane than the electric chair. I know because nobody's complained about it yet.

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Old guitars sound like cat's guts

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He loved working with tourists.

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Why did the girl put on make-up and perfume? Because she was ugly and smelled bad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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