On Friday the 13th,I had one of those dreams of when you go to school in your underwear. I then realised it wasn't a dream.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your mom is dead And your dad is too

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An old couple walks up to me and says, "can you take our picture? It's our 50th anniversary." I reply, "sure." Then I pull the man to the side and ask, "how do you make a relationship last so long? I can't make one last 50 days let alone years." He leans in and says, "cheat"

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Straight men can be bronies.

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why did the boy drown? because water entered his lungs and suffocated him.

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No, we got to speak now, or you know, never.

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What did grandma receive for her 75th birthday? Alzheimer's.

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what do a fish and wood have in common? when they're dead, they float

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How did the blonde burn her ear? In a terrible accident involving molten lava.

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What is long and black The unemployment line

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Have you ever heard the story of Mikey Braford? Every morning when he was little, his father would fill a gym sock with nickels and beat him with it. Mikey has severe attachment disorder and frequent suicidal thoughts.

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whats used in the kitchen and hurts like fuck? a cheese-grater dildo

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White people talk like this 'HEY' Black people talk like this 'YO' Hundreds of thousands died in the civil war.

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What's green and has wheels? Boogers on a skateboard.

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Whats green and looks like eggs? Green eggs.

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What is worse than 20 babies stapled to trees? 1 baby stapled to 20 trees.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I doubt it thought much about this. The chicken is a simple animal, and i doubt its actions were spurred by any particular motivation.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Eating the worm

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Do u liek mudkipz GO TROLLING

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why did the jew cross the road? the ss was chasing him and his family to kill him so he ran across the street to same his family, he got hit by a truck and his family was killed...

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how long is a peice of string howeverlong you want to make it

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A man walked into a bar. He sustained a mild concussion and a brusied pelvis

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What do you call a black man driving a bus? By his name

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse, thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly defecates on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few chairs and tables.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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