Why did the guy crash his car? Because he didn't want to crash his truck.

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A guy walks into a bar, and then is hit with the full force of all the things he never did in life, of how he wasted his younger years chasing a bigger paycheck rather than trying to live life, and all the love he wasted on people who didn't care about him. He begins to cry as his first drink arrives, and orders many more as the night passes. He loses his keys as he leaves and stumbles home in a drunken stupor, contemplating suicide.

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Q: What's big, brown, and smell like crap? A: Turd.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

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What do you call a bear eating another bear? A cannibal.

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You have been brought down to hell where you are welcomed by satan. "Welcome to hell, where you watch your loved ones get tortured for all eternity" Satan said "Where is everyone? " you ask "Hmmm, I guess you were never really loved"He replied

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whats big, black and red all over? My mom when its that time of the month

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Why shouldn't you play poker in the woods? Due to the stereotypical lack of human population in such an area, it would be excruciatingly difficult to find a partner with which to play competitive card games. I suggest trying solitaire instead.

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Why did the guy not pet the dog? He was allergic.

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Q:Why did the man fall down the stair I don't know? A:Because he wasn't careful

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Dogs taste better in stews.

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What happens when you yell at people who have high blood pressure? They might get heart attacks & die.

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1: What is a gum wrapper with no gum? 2: A wrapper? 1: No.

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What's worse than an explosion? A nuclear explosion.

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u know y blondes and tornadoes r so alike? first theres a lot of blowing and sucking, and then u lose ur house!

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Anywhere from 2-8, depending on the size of the vehicle.

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Q:what did a keppy kid with a big nose say A:hi im josh Roberts

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family

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a dyslexic Satan worshiper sold his soul to Santa

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There is a man who is half black half Jewish. He walking up a hill really fast. What happens to him? Answer: The Jewish side of his body will fall off and the black side will walk away.

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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What is the worst part of a 4 blacks hanging from a tree? They were only children

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A fat man fell on him

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What did the girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was homeless and dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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