how do u know when your in west virginia? when the houses have more wheels than the cars

Why was the little girl blowing bubbles in the swimming pool? Because she was drowning

there's 4 men, a rabbi, a priest, a monk, and a captain. they all go on the captain's ship for a cruise with a couple hundred people. this was during the cold war, and the ship was mistaken for a war ship, and the russians missled it. the monk says: "we have to get everyone off the ship!" the rabbit say: "NO! the women and children need to get off first! And we should also hail to Satan!" the Captain says: "OMG! It's a talking Rabbit!" the priest then stops the rabbit to death!" the rabbi says: "The rabbit is right! But just the children!" The Captain says: "Screw the children! this ship is going to Hell, we have talking animals saying we should worship the devil!" the priest says: "Do you think we have time" the monk, the rabbi, and the captain stare and beat him to death.... "Well, he was already going to Hell" the Monk says. But during this entire time the ship has been sinking and another missle blows up the ship. Everyone dies, except for Sean Conery...and Chuck Norris.

Q: What time do you see a Chinese dentist? A: Never because China has a flawed healthcare system due to overpopulation. It is a sad and sobering reality of the plight of the Chinese citizens.

Why did the cat cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

Why did little Timmy start crying? Because he was shot.

What did the vegitarian order for dinner? Vegatables

Why did Jimmy through a glass at spouse? Jimmy was an abusive husband who had a tendancy to drink too much.

This is a swimmer Joke. Chuck Norris once lapped a kid in the 50 free... LONG COURSE.

Q. What did the man say when his car broke down. A. Damn it, my car broke down.

why did helen cellars dog runway. you would to if ur name was ujujujujjujujujujujj

a 5 year old rapes a pedophile

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was hit by a truck.

What did the Muslim have under his hood of his car? A V-8 engine.

Bumper Sticker: I Brake for Stop Signs

What do nappies and politicians have in common? Not a lot, although President Roosevelt suffered from incontinence due to polio as a child.

Why did the mentally handicapped kid fail his math test? Because he didn't study.

A gay guy and a blind man walk into a bar. It's a gay bar. The blind man is also gay.

Everyone knows a sandwich made with bacon, lettuce, and tomato is a BLT, but what do you call a sandwich made with tomato, bacon, and lettuce? A BLT.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food?? Neither have they...

What did the liberian man say to the kid he just spat on? You have ebola. and probably aids.

What type of ruler lies? A shatter resistant one

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and 10 dead babies? I don't keep a Lamborghini I'm my garage

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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