How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get in the car.

Why did the chicken cross the road? why? Womens rights

What is quite heavy and if it falls off a tree and hits you in your head you die? A sheets packet

What do you call a joke with no punchline?

Roses are red, Violets are black, Why is your chest, as flat as your back

How did the boy cross the road? He didn't he had polio.

FUCK YOU NEVEN

Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

I took your mother out to a fine seafood dinner. I never called her again.

What was the last thing the clown said to his wife before she died? Rebecca, just stay with me, the ambulance is almost here.

why did the kid get a bad grade he didnt study

Why did the man jump off a cliff? Because he was committing suicide.

whats the difference between 100 dead babies and a ferrari? the ferrari is not in my garage.

What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding? Nothing

What do you call a politician on fire? A tragic death for the American public..

What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Nothing, Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

A Blonde, a Brunette, and a Red head walk into a bar They are friends from school and have not seen each other in 15 years; they are hoping to have a good night out

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "I should've voted Democrat!"

Want to hear a cat joke? Just kitten.

A Grape Soda inside a Chicken inside a Watermelon. Blackception.

what do you call a cow with no legs? ground beef

i hate it when Voldemort showers in my nutella

I'm banging your sister.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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