What do you call a sandwich that has sandwich on it? A sandwich.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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Heat oven to 375°. Grease 18 regular-size muffin cups (or 12 large size muffins). In bowl, mix butter until creamy. ... Add eggs one at a time, beating after each. Beat in vanilla, baking powder and salt. With spoon, fold in half of flour then half of milk into batter; repeat. Fold in blueberries.

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Paul and Steve, Siamese twins attached at the head, come to a fork in the road they are traveling. Paul wants to go left, while Steve wants to go right. They pause for a moment to figure out which direction would be the best choice for the both of them. They decide to go Paul's way, and as they continue to travel in silence, they try to imagine what life as a self-reliant individual would be like.

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Two men are sitting on a park bench discussing the anatomy of goats. Where is Bertha? Teaching the principals of mathematics to blind orphins in Moscow, Russia.

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why are black people good at jumping and white people aren't? That's stereotyping people .... anyone can be good jumping as long as the practice.

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What's worse than this joke? Taking a dump on an airplane as it crashes in to the World Trade Center.

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A priest walks past a mailbox with the number 666 on it. Nothing happens, because it is an ordinary mailbox.

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What did the murderer get for Christmas? Executed.

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why is Justin Berber gay? hes not thats rust a myth

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Doesn't matter, he's not coming

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I'm so hot my father calls me son.

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What did the blind man look at when the girl showed him her cleavage ? ... Nothing... He's blind... >_>

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A Mexican, an Asian, a black guy, a white guy, a Jew, and a hispanic............... i forgot.

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Whats the Twin Towers least favourite movie? Here Comes the Boom.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r jerks n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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Did you hear about the deer? He had antlers. If antlers where a kind of disease, that would be a pun.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems show me your boobs

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Your mom is so fat that she enjoys junk food regularly.

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Yo Mama so slow She can't run very fast.

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So a seal walks into a club..

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knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

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I was walking through the woods the other day when I heard a rustle in the bushes... So I went over and said, "Russell, What are you doing in the bushes?"

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? Seven brutally abused and raped 6 as a child.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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