- Anti Joke

Knock knock Who's there? Your friend Jim Oh hello Jim, please come in it is very nice to see you this fine evening.

Knock-Knock The man wasn't home, so there was no answer.

You wanna hear a JOKE ?!! Justin Bieber has a DlCK !!!

What's worse than a murderer? Two murderers.

An enormous black man wearing a durag walks into a bar. Due to the diverse and friendly comminuty he lives in, nobody judges him on his race, ethnicity, or culture. He goes on to pursue his career in business and gets a Masters Degree in Business Administration. He get's a job as an IT Director for a very successful business and he marries a well educated woman. They have 2 kids, but one of them is diagnosed with "Ondine's Curse" and dies in it's sleep. Distressed, and mourning the death of his newborn son, he seeks help from his parents. Regardless of his parents comforting and loving attitude towards him, he goes into the inner city smoking and selling illegal drugs like crack. He even got into cocaine and marjuana. 4 and a half years later, he was about to attempt suicide, when he saw his only living son, whom he loved with all his heart, walk into the room with his teddybear. He just looked at him, and he looked back. Suddenly, the father started crying. Flashbacks started playing though his mind of his happy life he was steadily pursuing. "why me?" He constantly thought to himself. What did he do to deserve this? 7 years in the future. The father was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Right before his death, he asked to talk to his son. "Son, listen to me. Never try to comtemplate the world we live in, it's too spontaneous and insane to understand. This world can either give you bliss or depression. Nothing inbetween. And most people who make there way up to the top eventually will fall. What goes up must come down. Ha... I never thought I'd be talking to me own son giving him a silly lecture in a deathbed. But just look at me..."the father gets very muddled and disoriented* "...Son. They say most of us have a good reason to live. Well don't most of us have a good reason to die too?" Malik Cartwright died on March 22, 1999. His son went on to legally change his middle name to "Leek", after his father's nickname. He went on to get the same Master's Degree that his father received, and had kids of his own. The whereabouts of the mother are unknown.

i have yougurt with tractor

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Certainly not Sally

Why does Owen Wilson have an ugly nose? Because of his refusal to get plastic surgery.

What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Look out there's a bus in front of you

What did the man say when he found out he had cancer? Nothing. He was so in shock, that he later died from another type of cancer.

what does a gorilla do when it sleeps. it snores.

What's black and white and red all over? A nazi flag

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

what did the little boy say to little girl? I shit bricks.

What do Tiger Woods and Charlie Sheen have in common? They are both celebrities.

If there are 50 oranges and 50 waffles tied to a fence post. How many cow utters does it take to shit green? urine.

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Orange" "Oh, hey."

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz 7 8 9

Wha'ts the funniest joke in the world? Written.

why did ya dad eat ya food?? because ya sister

when chuck norris plays call of duty, his only perk is ghost pro.

s e m e n

What do you have if you have a green ball in your right hand and a green ball in your left hand? Two green balls.

What's Tammie short for? Diabetes claimed both her legs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops