What did the dead Catholic say to Atheist? Nothing. Dead guys can't talk!

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Why did so many white people vote for obama? They strongly believed in what he had to say, and believed he was the right person to lead our country during its troubled times.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Why didn't the boy have any toes? - Because he did not have any legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

What is green and has weels? A green bycicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender says "what'll it be?" The bartender is then sent to a medical clinic after letting several wild animals into his bar and proceeding to feed them alcoholic drinks. He is diagnosed with schizophrenia.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Q: Why did the girl fall off the swing? R: Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Lethal injection is a lot more humane than the electric chair. I know because nobody's complained about it yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Usually, the bad (anti) jokes are the ones that don't make you laugh. Sometimes you laugh "with" the joke, other times, you laugh at the joke itself because it is a paragon for human failure. The jokes on this website are not exempt from that rigid stipulation. However, it should be noted that all the "jokes" on this particular website are actually hilarious because of the latter reason delineated in the above paragraph. Additionally, this joke was created by a machine and thus the originator of this work is by no means able to learn from the process of trial and error and therfore can make myriad unfunny jokes without compromise.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

No I do not think that, that would be a wasted thought.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What's black and twelve inches long? A Maglite.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

You might be a Redneck...if your job requires you to work long hours out in the sun and you do not take advantage of sunscreen.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Toys -Lets Go MEts

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Are you from Tennessee? Because I can tell by your accent.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why did Doctor Who visit Ancient Greece? Because has a time machine and has that ability

thumb_up thumb_down +46

two nuns were driving in Transylvania when a vampire jumps out in front of their car the first nun said "show it your cross" so the secong got out of the car and yelled Get out of the way you pric!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +46

why did the plane crash? the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

FUCK YOU NEVEN

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What's large, green, and pissed off? The dumpster out back

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Yo mamas so fat that she slowly had developed obstructive sleep apnea syndrome and had died due to an obstruction of her upper airway while she was sleeping.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What is black and blue and red all over? Rihanna

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Your mama is so fat, her gravitational field varies with distance cubed!

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What did the dog say when the woman put a sweater on him? Nothing, dogs can't talk and he has no idea what is going on

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Teacher: Billy what do you want to be when you grow up? Billy: A fireman! Teacher: Tommy what do you want to be when you grow up? Tommy: 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +40

how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops