i cannot get my penis to rise to the occasion, it is the holocaust tho..

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How to you kill two birds with one stone? You use a precision hunting rifle to mortally wound two flying birds, then put them on a platform and break their skulls with one rock. Separately.

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A man named Joe has practiced drawing cartoon characters his entire life. When Joe turns 15 he decides to enter a local drawing competeiton. Joe works very hard drawing his cartoon and finally finishes. When it is the time to hand in his drawing his drawing, he hands it in an receives a satisfying 2nd place and continues on with his life. Two years later Joe decides to enter another drawing competeiton (this one much more competitive) after his drawing skills have tremendously increased. He begins drawing and is 3/4 of the way finished when Joe is brutally murdered by a mentally disturbed man and cannot hand in his art work and is therefore disqualified from the competeiton and loses.

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Why couldn't the old man read the street sign? Because there were no words. Just an arrow designating a trun up ahead.

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Hi Jacob You cool

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Why did the crack head cross the road? To get crack.

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What do you call girls that can run faster than me? Virgins

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im the real danny hamilton you stupid asshole

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What did the woman say when the man got her flowers? "Why thank you."

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Hellooooo whos there? Its me fred Fred? A Canadian

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why did sally fall off the swing? because she had no arms. knock knock? who's there? not sally.

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A blonde sits down in first class on a flight to Miami. That's because she had a ticket for the seat.

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What did the doctor say to the little boy? Pull down your pants and cough.

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What's black and flies? Whatever it is, it's not a car.

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Knock, Knock ..... ..... No one is home, they've been evicted.

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What is the difference between a bucket of shit and a Jew? The Bucket.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Violets are not blue They are Violet

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Why can't a black guy be the King of England? He's not in line for it.

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What did the mother get at the grocery store? Food.

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Who has downs this joke

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My name is Harry.

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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Why i'm breathing? I don't want die.

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Why Did the Drug dealer die He Got Hit by a buss

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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