I thought I was a bird and I could fly Gravity painfully reminded me I was only a human

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Whats bloody and wrinkly? Your nans fanny

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A baby crawls into an abortion clinic.

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What I have learned about the Japanese studying video games and anime (read below for more, better studies): Student at school: USING PENN TO TYPU! USING PEN TO TYPU! Teacher: No Susaki San! You must onry yell the name of attakus! You suspension get! Student: JOSH! I CHARRENGE YOU TO MORTAR KOMBAT! Teacher: KAAAAAAAAMEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEE! Student: FINAL FRAAAAAAASH! Student and teacher: Locked into energy wave combat for several hours. Teacher: Puh... Lets rather settle this with a round of Shaolin Soccer... Student: VICTOLY! Me: Well I saw a disturbing lot of Japanese people cosplay dressed as zangief... Skinny guys with fake chesthair and red hair that kept posing with their (nonexistent) muscles and yelling RED CYCRONE! Wanting me to take pictures of them... And Japanese lolitas, and blonde girls called Ganguro... Weirdest trip ever... They also kept Looking at Emanuel my (black) friend, and assumed he was my servant... Conclusion: My real trip to Japan was not so different from my above example as one might think...

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What did the child rapist say to the little boy? I'm going to rape you.

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Pickles

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Whats the worst thing about seeing a truck being snapped in half? It was mine

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What is long and hard on a black man? First grade.

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Why did the vegetarian lose her foot? Diabetes.

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Why did the clown fall off the swing? Because he was dead.

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Q:how man ADD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: I dont know, wanna go ride bikes?

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Q: Where did little Suzie go during the bombing? A:Everywhere

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There once was a man from Peru, who dreamed he swallowed his shoe. But it turns out his dream was real, and he died because he could not digest a whole shoe.

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How do you know if there's an elephant in your fridge? The fridge is broken and the elephant has mauled your dog

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Where's Waldo? Nowhere. Waldo is a fictional character. He doesn't exist.

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How do you get a Blonde to switch seats with you? Ask her politely.

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What do you tell a Woman with black eyes? Nothing you've already told her twice.

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What do you call a black man forcing two young girls into his car with a gun? A Police Officer.

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What did the young girl say to her step-dad? Nothing. She no longer talks to him after years and years of sexual abuse which left her emotionally scarred.

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A man spills his his drink. Like any other man would do, he got some paper towels and some mult-purpose cleaner and proceeded to wipe up the mess. Not a further word was said about the situation.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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yo momma's so fat she sat on a tiny chair and relaxed.

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Why was the ginger walking around in bare feet? He had no sole.

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Your mother is so unintelligent that her IQ score is equal to or lower than 2 standard deviations below the national average of 100 on the Mensa approved intelligence test that has been properly administered and supervised.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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