What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash and the other one is a watermelon.

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That awkward when you adimaticlly read "moment in your head because you have seen too many of these awkward moment jokes.

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Why did 4 Christians, 2 Jews, 1 Muslim, 1 Buddhist and an atheist squeeze into a Honda Accord? One of their co-workers at Appleby's made a compelling case for the financial and environmental benefits of carpooling.

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The police, we have several warrants for your arrest.

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what did the smoker say to the doctor? nothing she died of lung cancer.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The Pilot. You racist bastard.

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Q:What did the furry say to the other? A: Probably nothing, cant be easy speaking with a dick in your mouth...

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Q: I have 2 dogs. Why? A: I like dogs

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your mom is so blind she cant read.

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Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: Names

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock kock ding dong ding di-ding dong zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sigh weeeeeeeeeewooooooooooooooooo zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz hey yo wake up zzz-oh-huh-what-whos there i've been yelling for like five minutes oh sorry jim will you let me in already all right

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A Black man a Chinese man and a Jew walk in to a bar. Black man: nice place they got here Asian man: yeah I remember when it used to be that old hardware store Jew: Henry's, i think it was called Aisian man: must have been there for at least 10 years or so

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Roses are Red Violets are plucked So are my nose-hairs Pretty disgusting

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what's red, blue, and white all over? The American Flag

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Why was Martin Luther King Jr. Shot? Because he was black.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun.

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How do you kill a blond? Well there are many ways the most effiont way is to shoot them

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Why is Kony hated by the kid with ADHD? Hey look a kid being raped while watching his family getting killed.

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Why couldn't the unicorn fly? It was a horse.

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Why is an orange, orange. Because you can't clean a window with a spade.

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What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pilot.

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What did the white man say to the black man? Nothing. Earlier that day his vocal chords were ripped out by an angry chimpanzee. He will never speak again

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Fun fact: Steel wool comes from the fleeces of iron sheep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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