What is worse than having sex with a dead baby in front of it's mother? Not a lot.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Tulips are red. My garden is on fire.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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what do you call a mixbreed of a bull dog and a shitzu? a sharpei

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Holocaust jokes are not funny. My Grandpa died in the Holocaust... He fell off of the guard tower.

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why was there a man outside the 56th floor window? he was a window washer and needed the money.

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Your momma's so fat: She's willing to risk kidney damage and embarrassing flatulence by undertaking the atkins diet.

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I like my women the way I like my coffee: Without a penis.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Because I'm colorblind

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Knock, knock Who's there? The police. Your under arrest!

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Why does snoop dogg carry around an umbrella?? ......fo drizzle

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24!

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A man has only two fingers on one hand, and everybody calls him two-fingered Mike. Why? Because his fingers were lost in a tragic accident at birth, and his parents, who were considering calling him Mike, decided to lengthen the name because it seemed appropriate.

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What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane? There's no such thing. 500,000 people can't fit onto one plane.

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what did the parapelegic (limbless) kid get for his birthday? Heart failure

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It didn't, some dude ran it over.

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What has 2 brown legs and 2 gray legs? An elephant with diarrhea.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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bob saget

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ecks! why zee?

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look at this bag of air it has some chips in it

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A Muslim boards a plane with his three sons. Everything goes well, because most on the plane are racially tolerant.

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Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Because after twenty long years of monotonous nagging, he finally snapped.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Daises are red, holy crap my garden is on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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