So in Jimmy's school if u are misbehaving u are asked to get out of the room. Jimmy was in science, and he was throwing paper a bunch. Then his science teacher says, "Jimmy, do u wanna go out?" Jimmy replies "No thanks, I'm 14 and i have a girlfriend." That's how Jimmy got detention.

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Why did the fat lady poop on my knee? Because i'm thirsty.

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What do you call a retarded sheep? Whatever it's name is. There's no sense in torturing it by pointing out the disability which has made it a social outcast it's whole life.

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I don't do cocaine I just like the smell

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What did the polar bear say when he walked into a sauna? Absolutely nothing because he was a polar bear. I mean seriously, did I even have to ask? Everyone should know that a polar bear is an animal and he wouldn't say anything. If he did it would most likely be a growl or a roar. If you believed that he would have said something you obviously didn't pass the first grade. I finish with the fact that a polar bear would not survive in a sauna because they are accustomed to cold clima I guess this was just a waste of time.

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Q:Which do you take out more...trash or recycle? A: Greenery

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Why did the father not text back? He died in a car crash

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd probably pay in cash.

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What do you call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

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What's the difference between a Jew that is half Jewish and a Jew that is fully Jewish? 1/2

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a strip club. They then realised that they are religious leaders and set an example for their respective religious communities and shouldn't be in a strip club and leave.

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The women if the wnba are good at basketball

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Sharks have teeth, I have teeth, Therefore i am a cat.

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R.I.P Ryan Dunn.

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How do you scare a blonde? Put the barrel of a gun to the side of her head.

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obama's promises

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What did God say to the snake when the Snake decided to ignore God and just give Eve the apples? Snake what are you doing? Answer me, SNAKE! SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! *DUN DUN DURUDUN! DU DU DUN! *gunshot* Moral: I just hate thumbs ups, and the comments where I omit this receives those horrible green thumbs instead of them sexy red ones, so there goes.

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And then i said what about breakfast at tiffanies, and then you said i hate that movie.

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liam buchan is gay !

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knock knock how there me ok come in

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A Irishman walks into a bar... he suffers severe head injuries.

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How do you make sushi if you are a fish? Commit suicide and sell yourelf to a sushi resturant!

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How did Pikachu jump off of a 100 story building and survive? He's not real

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What do you get if you cross a lin and a deer? A pile of bloody bones.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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