Why did the potato commit suicide? Forget that. Why was the potato alive in the first place?

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Bye, Ax... Nerochan, you just gonna leave me in this state? I mean wont you stop it? I know hypnosis and all but I mean I have like black belt in hypnosis but since you began it, I do not really want to stop it.

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69

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How do you punish an electrician? Kill his family.

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A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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How long did it take for Michael to screw in the lightbulb? 37 minutes. Michael has cerebral palsy.

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where are you?

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Q, whats worst then being trapped in a house with a ghost. A, being trapped in a house with thirteen ghosts.

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A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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What's long and hard and looks like plastic? A plastic baton.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

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the cast of the jersey shore

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what is the difference between a indian and a trampoline? you take you shoes off to jump on the trampoline.

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Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? He had no arms… Why did he have no arms? Jimmy was a potato

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No soap, radio!

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What's the difference between an elephant and a toaster. A lot of things.

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this is an anti joke THIS IS NOT A JOKE O:

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

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How do you wake up Lady GAGA? A sludge hammer!

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A man was jumped by two muggers and fought like hell, but was finally subdued. His attackers then stabbed him. He later died from his injuries.

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Q: I have 2 dogs. Why? A: I like dogs

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A man walks into a bar. I don't know what happened next because I was waiting outside for my friend.

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Whats worse than a paper cut? Nine/Eleven

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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