This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well crap whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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What's big, grey and can't climb a tree? A parking lot

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1st guy: Wanna hear a joke? 2nd guy: Yeah sure. 1st guy: Me too.

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What does Patrick say? IM PATRICK!!! IM PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK!!!!! PATRICK!!!!!

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What did the T-rex say to the velociraptor? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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A Black man, a Mexican, and a Midget, get in a car. They drive to the county fair and get snow cones and have a really fun time.

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What did the Vampire say to the pastor? Nothing. You have to be real to talk

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What did the blind guy say when he walked past a fish store? Something smells fishy

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd probably pay in cash.

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Where did Lil' Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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What is invisible, weighs 332 pounds, runs 67.3 mph, is green, and is made by Jews in China. Nothing, if something is invisible, then it cannot reflect green light, therefore it cannot be green.

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What's the difference between a pancake? They both taste good with jam

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Q: What did the Mexican kid get for Christmas? A: My bike.

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What happens when a llama falls off a cliff? It dies.

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What's black and blue and red all over? I don't know, that's why I was asking you.

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Why did the white man kill the black man? Because he was a racist that didn't care much for black people or their ways.

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Go online. why? To get a quote. why? To save money. Because we said so! Parenting can be hard. see how easy it is to save with GEICO.

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What's black and white and red all over? Colors

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What do you call two black guys having sex with Paris Hilton? N*ggas in Paris

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Hear the one about the deaf guy? Neither has he.

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Q: A Blonde and a Brunette fall of a building which one hits the ground first? A: The Brunette because she ways 200 pounds and the Blonde weighs 100.

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If a tree falls, and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? No. While the falling tree surely creates mechanical oscillations in the air, sound is defined as the mechanical oscillations in the air perceived by humans. Therefore, since no humans were around to hear the tree fall, it did not create a sound.

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I'm gay. No homo.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not Heath Ledger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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