Why is god mean? Cause he doesn't like you.

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Where does piglet look for Pooh? The hundred acre forest, you creep.

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Why'd the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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How does Stevie Wonder pick up girls? He doesnt, he has someone do it for him

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Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

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Roses are red, Violet are violet, not blue, dumbass.

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What did the Ocean say to the Sky? Nothing, it just waved.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

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What do Elephants never forget? 9/11

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Jackson's dad told him to "play in the traffic".

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What is the difference between a firework and a dog? One is funny to blow up and the other one is pretty lights

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why are black people good at basketball? because they practice

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Why did kurt cobain kill himself? He was experiencing heavy depression

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What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The white man who called the police and the police officers involved were sued by the family for a large sum of money.

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a tree house? No Neither did she

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What has wheels and flies? A wheel that I have altered so it can fly

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Guy 1: "Hey do you want to hear a joke?" Guy 2: "Sure" Guy 1: "No."

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

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Vagina ass.

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What does a plum and a rabbit have in common? A: they're both purple, except for the rabbit!

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What is black, white, and red, and can't turn around in a hallway? A nun with a spear through her head.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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What is worse than seeing your whole family die? Leaving your wallet on the bus.

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What did the Scientist say to the bookstore owner he met? "Hi."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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