What happened to the peanut who went to NYC? Nothing because he was eaten on the plane

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had cancer.

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How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

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What do you get if you cross a banana, a mango, and an apple? A smoothie

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Q-What happened to the kid who thought he could fly A-his head exploded while he was sitting in a microwave

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Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

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(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

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democracy

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Why the girl fell from the swing? cause she had no arms

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Whats the differance between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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What did the fat girl say to her friend? I'm fat.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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how do you get to your favorite chinese restaurant? Wok.

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Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A: The dead baby was once alive, while the ferrari couldn't possibly have lived since it's a car and cars are inanimate objects.

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What do you call a guy being followed by about 30 others with high powered rifles? A military general serving for his country.

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Did you know every 46 seconds somebody commits suicide Thumbs up for pancakes!

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come home from camp.

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A moose walks into a corner store and asks the lady where the Mashed potatoes are. The lady working behind the corner says "Down Aisle five..." The moose goes down aisle five and there are no Mashed Potatoes. -Tyler the Creator

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I am pregnant And it's your baby

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Whats the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair? Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops