What do you call a dog that's having a stroke? An emergency animal hospital.

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How is a white orphan like a black baby? Neither are sure who their parents are :(

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Chicken eats your pie filled with monkey guts!!

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What do you call Santa's helpers? Chinese factory workers, who live in impoverished conditions, work up to 16 hours a day, earning slave wages. God damn you, Steve Jobs and Mattel.

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Why was the Asian so good at ping-pong? Disciprine.

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what did the deaf man say to his long-lost paraplegic brother? He did audibly make noise as deafness from birth meant that the capacity to form words through sound was much reduced, and instead simply gestured a greeting of loving familiarity.

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Your mama so stupid. She tried to climb over a glass wall to see the other side

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A Muslim walked out of a bomb shop.

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Halo < COD

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Why does no one we talk about Nagasaki, they got bombed too...

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A very unskillful basketball team enters a basketball tournament. They had little chance of winning and concluded with a loss.

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Who's gay and has buttsex? Dan.

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Why was little billy sad? He had a crouton stuck up his asshole.

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Penis.

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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You wanna know the funniest joke ever? Justin bieber

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Q: What is black, white, and red all over? A: A white wall with black and red paint just added onto it recently.

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Fuzzy Whuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Whuzzy has no hair. Fuzzy Whuzzy has Cancer.

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What did santa claus say when he saw a girl standing on the corner? Ho Ho Ho... ;)

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Q: What do you get when you mix a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Whats brown and slippery? A brown slipper.

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What happened to the peanut who went to NYC? Nothing because he was eaten on the plane

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Parents: What do you want for your birthday? Boy: A yellow ping pong ball. 7th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball 13th birthday P: What would you like for you birthday son? B:A yellow ping pong ball. P:Hmm, fine. 17th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: That's is I'm getting you a car! Day before 18th the boy drives into a bridge. He lies in his hospital bed and his parents are there. P: What would you like for you birthday tomorrow? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: Fine. Why do you want these ping pong balls anyway? B: Because. And then he died.

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A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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