What's black and white, and red all over ? A penguin in a blender.

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Why don't women need watches? Because most people carry cell phones that tells them the time making watches redundant and obsolete.

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No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

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Roses are brown I like clouds this joke isn't funny so don't laugh..... Oh an I am trying to get the most dislikes so whatever you do don't like it:(:(:(

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Yo mamas so fat

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Why does Santa go down your chimney? Because he is to retarded to use the door.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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How do you make time fly? Well! You cannot really make time fly. Imean, yeah, iguess it feels like time flies when your having fun, but it moves just as fast as always!

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What do you call a pack of black people. Nothing you racist -_-

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There was a white man who sat on a log. then suddenly a Chinese man popped out and said he had to leave. he left.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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A horse walked into a bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse then replied, "Well my wife is dying of cancer, my mother is a drug addict, and my two kids are in the hospital for 3rd degree burns."

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

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A man opens his sock drawer, grabs his socks and puts them on.........He dies 5 minutes later.

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what is the only death better than asama bin ladin JUSTIN BIEBER'S

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Q. what did the kid say to his foreign language teacher about the test? A: i dont understand this test, its like in a complete different language

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a tree house? No Neither did she

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hi do you like guitars? cool i dont

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What is the difference between a car and dead babies? The car is legally obtainable by law and can run on gasoline, when dead babies are nonliving humans, and the owner of which would most likely be sent to jail.

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Women's Rights.

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What'd the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Just Dance 2 the video game

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Your mother is so old that her prom theme was fire

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P1 : Yo mamma's so fat... P2: My moms dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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