A germaphobe is in a room full of sick people. He leaves.

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Why don't men ask for directions? They want to appear knowledgeable and strong. Asking for directions is sometimes considered a sign of weakness.

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How are Polish people and dogs the same? They aren't. One is a human being, and one is a dog. Do not be stupid.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can not talk, therefore we can never find out from the chicken, who is the only thing that knows why it crossed the road. Scientists have study chickens and say that it most likely saw something edible, like a bug or some grain and walked over to eat it.

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What did timothy say after he went to go golf? - I just went golfing

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What do you get when you mix a dog with speeding bus? Nothing, you can't mix those two things.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies and their grieving mothers standing over them. thats what.

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What did the cat say when you rub it's stomach? Nothing because felines don't have the needed vocal organs to speak, and probaly wouldn't know english do to the size of there brain.

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whats faster than the speed of light? a jew with a coupon

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"My foot is killing me" "no, actually it's that noose around your neck"

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Why did John forget his homework? While driving herself home at 8:00 PM the previous evening, his mother got into a terrible automobile accident. She was rushed to the emergency room, only to find out that one of her main arteries in her right arm was cut. Death was probable for her in the next few hours. John and his father, sitting at home playing a friendly game of chess, were notified of the accident by hospital secretaries. His father rushed John with him to the hospital in his Toyota Camry. Upon arrival, they were notified that John's mother had only a few moments left to live. They ran into her room, and said their last parting words. John's were "I love you, Mom.", and her husband's were "I love you, honey." She then passed away. John began to weep, and his father put his arm around him to try to comfort him, while feeling extreme sadness as well. Around this time, back at home, his dog, Rex, ate his homework that he left on the dining room table. John and his dad then drove back home, crying their eyes out. This kind of sadness they have never experienced before. He will always remember his mom, and love her to bits. His dad, well, he was never really the same after her death. The funeral was scheduled for the next week. John will always remember his mom as being a nice, caring individual with so much love for everyone in the world. Him and his dad later picked out a nice, blue coffin that reads "You will always be missed" on the top of it. They chose it because John's mom's favorite color was blue.

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What did the Asian man do when he got lost in the desert? He ate his arms.

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What's black and white, and red all over ? A penguin in a blender.

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why is a squirrel called a squirrel? that's its name.

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Society has given up on chairs that spin.

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What's more addicting than a good book? Meth

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What's chris benoit doing? Just hangin in the gym

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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a black man a chinese man and a mexican man are all on a plane. they land safely and continue with their lives.

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whats worst than the holocaust? the holocaust times 2

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roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

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wheres a place a cancer patient cant go? the hairdressers

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Your mom is such a slut, she had unprotected sex at least once.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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