Why was Jimmy upset? Someone kept pouring liquid nitrogen on him.

Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

how do you keep a black kid from jumping on the bed? pick up a parenting book ask him nicely try a time out not care because he's a kid and hes supposed to jump on beds?

Billy is walking down the street when he spots 1 armed johnny hanging in a tree.Billy proceeds to wave causing Johnny to wave with his 1 arm. Johnny falls out of the tree and dies

It burns when I pee sometimes.

Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they are all dead.

What is the difference between dead babies and a corvette? There is no corvette in my garage

Why did the man drink his own piss? Because he was Bear Grylls

What did the young boy get for christmas? Parental divorce

THAT MAN EATS TOO MUCH. therefore he is overweight.

Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant?

What's red and hurts your teeth? A brick.

Q. Why did the Mexican have to go back to Mexico? A. His mom died in an auto accident and no one in her village could afford to organize a proper funeral.

i like tits

Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

Why did the black man cry? He had no rights.

Woman's rights.

What happen to the boy who poured water on his head? He got wet.

Q. What did the fat guy get for his birthday? A. diabetes

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the voices told him to...

69

a

what do you call 6 black guys hung in a tree? a arazona wind chime

This is a haiku I said this is a haiku You read a haiku

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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