Follow the Yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road........except it's not yellow.

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Joseph had been temporarily blinded for over a year. While blind, he saw the doctor who told him he would regain sight the next morning when he woke up. For this special moment, Joseph decided that the first thing he wanted to see was his wife. So, his wife decided to stay up all night so she was in the right position for when Joseph woke up. However, when Joseph woke up and opened his eyes his wife wasn't there so he was a little bit annoyed.

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Why does a snake have eyes? To see!

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Q: What's funnier than a dead baby? A: Two dead babies.

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What's the main reason for divorce? Marriage.

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Why are you reading anti-jokes? ... why are you looking at me like that? I asked you a question, idiot.

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What do you call a mouse that sings? Justin Bieber

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Where is Madeline McCann? 6 Feet under....

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Girl-Does this dress make me look fat? Boy-Hell yea you do, wait, let me speak your language...... Cows go MOOOOO -Ryan V

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Why did John forget his homework? While driving herself home at 8:00 PM the previous evening, his mother got into a terrible automobile accident. She was rushed to the emergency room, only to find out that one of her main arteries in her right arm was cut. Death was probable for her in the next few hours. John and his father, sitting at home playing a friendly game of chess, were notified of the accident by hospital secretaries. His father rushed John with him to the hospital in his Toyota Camry. Upon arrival, they were notified that John's mother had only a few moments left to live. They ran into her room, and said their last parting words. John's were "I love you, Mom.", and her husband's were "I love you, honey." She then passed away. John began to weep, and his father put his arm around him to try to comfort him, while feeling extreme sadness as well. Around this time, back at home, his dog, Rex, ate his homework that he left on the dining room table. John and his dad then drove back home, crying their eyes out. This kind of sadness they have never experienced before. He will always remember his mom, and love her to bits. His dad, well, he was never really the same after her death. The funeral was scheduled for the next week. John will always remember his mom as being a nice, caring individual with so much love for everyone in the world. Him and his dad later picked out a nice, blue coffin that reads "You will always be missed" on the top of it. They chose it because John's mom's favorite color was blue.

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Q: why did the guys neck hurt after the car crash A: he had a sun burn

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What's white and flies around ? A seagull. What's black and flies around ? A seagull in the darkness.

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An Irishman walks out of a bar...

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What's pink, wrinkly and hangs out your trousers? Your nan.

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Did the chicken cross the road? No because it was in a fenced in area like all farm animals should be

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A duck flies to someone's backyard pool. Moments later it takes a dump , then suddenly flies away.

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why did the black guy die? cancer

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Why did the man rob a bank? Because he was poor.

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why do black people hate chainsaws? the noise they make- run nigga nigga run nigga nigga run nigga nigga

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"One fish, two fish, red fish, the holocost." -Dr. Seuss

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How did the priest die? Masterbation

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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69

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What is big, red, and beats rocks? A big, red, rock beater.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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