Q: What did one car say to another? A: Nothing. Cars can't speak.

Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob Who? Bob the human.........

Knock, Knock Who's there? No one OK???? BYE, BYE U still there? Yeah Umm . . . ?

Buy one packet of condoms for the price of two packets of condoms, and you will be given a second packet of condoms ABSOLUTLEY FREE!

What did Hellen Keller call her dog? Kamikaze-go, because he was an Akita from Japan and that was his name.

Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? Because ie was glued to the other one. why did the third elephant fall out ot the tree? Because he thought it was a game. why did the tree fall? Because there were elephants in it.

What is the way to a woman's heart? Through her chest cavity.

Why couldn't the girl brush her hair? Because she had leukemia

Q: What do you call a Deer with no eyes? A: No ideer. Q; What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? A: Still no ideer.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have AD i love squirrels

What does the funeral director say at a jewish funeral? Ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes...

what do you say to someone acting like an idiot? hey, if you keep acting like an idiot im gunna hit you with a freakin bat , you stupid fubu!

why did the dog jump into the pool? because the cat was chasing him

Video Games

What did the Scientist say to the bookstore owner he met? "Hi."

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nematode's. A Nematode is a type of round worm that lives under water, and while most are carnivorous, some feed on vegetation, such as pineapples.

What's the funniest part about this site? You're alone and reading this joke instead of getting a date.

why'd the women leave the kitchen? her chain broke

hey what are you eating there? a giant scorpion that tried to rape me.

Why did the baby start crying? Its mom slapped it in the face, causing permanent brain damage that would haunt it throughout its life.

roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

knock knock who's there? rock rock who? rock on the ground, don't trip

Two black people jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? Who cares.

what do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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