What happened in your mom's locked bedroom last night I don't know

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Friends are like pickles. If you eat them, they die.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Lamborghini I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Kumquats, daffodils, and potato salad.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

whats da difference between a black people and grass. there both black except for the grass.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

mc hammers income.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what did Santa say to the 3 hookers? Merry Christmas!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Billy want cancer? So he could be like his parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the prostitute get after sex? Syphilis... she got syphilis

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a pine tree? A refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Two dogs walk into a room. What a fine example of two dogs walking into a room.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A sprayed behind is a clean BEHIND!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red, Violets are violet. You guys really suck at making poems...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

"Hell nahhh I called shotgun" -Rosa Parks

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's ur favorite color? Cancer Made by mark

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Blonde walks into a bar. Man walks up to blonde and says a pick-up line. Blonde says "Crap, this is a gay bar?"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock Who's there? It's me, Dave. You still wanna go to the movies? Oh, yeah...let me grab my wallet.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock. Who's there? Open the fucking door. Open it! This is a fucking robbery. This is not a fucking joke. Get down on the ground. Shut that baby up. Shut that fucking baby up! Now! Get on the fucking ground or I swear to Christ I will fucking end your life. Tell the kids to go to their room. Do it. Do it, you fucking bitch! Where's the fucking jewelry? You got any money stashed anywhere? Come on, I know it's here. Keys? Your husband got any guns? Give me everything valuable or I swear to god, I will fucking murder you in front of your son. The woman was brutally raped for hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt will thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your mother called last night. She wants her recipe back.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What killed the cat? Feline Leukemia

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Dislike if you are gay (watch how many dislikes this joke gets :P)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Whats better than getting raped by a dog? A: Getting raped by a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

"My foot is killing me" "no, actually it's that noose around your neck"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops