What did the husband tell his obese wife? I love you honey

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How do you realize your life is over? You don't, but the coroner does.

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What do you call a bay that got run over by a train? Thomas

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roses are green violets are red im shooting heroine into my head

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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whats round and like a ball a ball

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What's the difference between a women's running team and a band of pygmies? Quite a lot.

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What's a Mexican's favorite sport? It varies from person to person.

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A welsh guy walks into a pub. This something any average guy would do.

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What did Bill go for his birthday? No where someone slashed his tires.

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Women

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? You would too if your name was Hjshdvcyehbretafvvba.

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Why was johny late to school? He died

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Q: What happens when you throw a green rock in the Red Sea? A: It gets wet.

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If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

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How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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Why did the black man walk into KFC? He was terribly hungry and had a reasonable amount of currency with him to purchase food for his well being.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This line doesn't rhyme Neither does this one.

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter what you call him. He won't come.

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Once you go black you may be more open to dating a second black person.

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whats stupid and likes dumb jokes? you.

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My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

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Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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