Two gay men in a hottub. They relaxed for about half an hour before getting out and going to the bed, where they fell asleep.

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When life gives you lemons,you say thank you.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody, you got ding-dong-ditched

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Hey, do you want to play the r.a.p.e game ? NO! That's the spirit

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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why was the asian kid found dead? he failed an examen

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If u see a guy with a buzz cut and earrings what would u ask? R u a girl with cancer

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I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

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Did you see the blind man get hit by a car? Neither did he.

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Star Wars

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If you are good at taking quizzes, you are quizzical. What are you if you are good at taking tests? Testical.

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If olive oil is made of olives, calculate the mass of the sun.

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Why did the boy commit suicide? Because he was bullied at school and felt it was the right decision.

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What did the 85 year old man do after having the sex of his life? He found out he had AIDS.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A refridgerator What's white heavy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A polar bear

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*via text message* Me: Hey Trevor! You at home? Trevor: This is Trevor's mom. Trevor committed suicide today.. Me: OMG! Why?!? Trevor: Because when I gave him a glass of water, it had 3 ice cubes. Trevor doesn't like odd numbers.

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Why is the world round? The early earth was molten, and a liquid in a vacuum subject only to its own gravitational forces will assume the shape of a sphere. Gases will behave in the same manner. The effects of the sun and other planets, plus the rotational effect have caused the earth to assume a round shape.

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Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

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A man walked into a bar, he was extremely short sighted, after this occurence he decided to phone up the opticians to get some glasses.

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A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society.

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How did the chicken cross the road? He went to the crosswalk so all the cars had to stop for him.

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what has a huge nose and is jewish??? Henery Miller!!!!!

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Q: Whats so funny about an antijoke? A: nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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