What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

What happened when the young child fell off of the swing? He broke open his head causing him to be sent to the hospital for 3 weeks.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a semi.

Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

What is green, and could kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.

Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

Roses are red Violets are blue Everyone on antijoke that steals what I write go to hell My toaster has down syndrom.

Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

A paraplegic walks into a bar.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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