Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? Nope! I'm a person! - SMC Digital

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how do you kill a blond? there are many ways but every one of them is illegal and could be criminally chargeable.

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Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

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Nero, you got followers, people that believe in you, ironically maybe a lot less now, that I have been giving them the fake illusion that I am you, why did you never reveal your true self? Is there something wrong with you physically? Something you fear being judged upon? I love and admire your work, and you to be honest, I know you are married and all, but my heart has chosen its path, it cant be helped really, believe me, I have tried. Dont lose hope in yourself, sometimes you have to accept that you are smarter, wiser, more compassionate and vulnerable than the rest, allowing yourself to be a vulnerable person, also shows how strong you are, if you shut it all away in order to become "strong", you know you end up alone and forgotten. I understand why someone such as you loses hope in humanity, but as long as you hold into the hope of you having the wisdom and courage required to stand on your own with pride rather than shame of your strength and individuality as a human being, something ever rarer I concur, then you have the right to consider yourself greater rather than some arrogant jackass, believe me, I know the man I am speaking about.

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Person 1: Happy Halloween! Person 2: Hey, I'm Jewish

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

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A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I didn't get to ask. He got hit by a car.

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what did the philosopher say, when he considered the transient nature of life in relation to ones own personal and egocentric grasp upon circumstance and purpose? massive erection.

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

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Person1: wanna hear a joke? Person2: yeah Person1: ok

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a man walked into a bar today he suffers from depression from his wife leaving him and taking custody of the children on the grounds that he is an alcoholic and is unfit to raise children

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Half a worm... What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being Gang-raped!

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Uh... You know them N words... When they come crashing into the neiborhood the neiborhood quality drops and gets totally destroyed youknow what im sayan? Uh yeah sure totally... Then you know they spread around smell up dirty and toxicify the whole area, they become so fat and loud and like take everything away from you. Yeah HEIL KKK!! WUUT? I was talking Aboot them Nukular warheds! You you... SOMETHING! Hey! Dont get offensive man, sorry I was just KIDDING!... yeah... KIDDIIING!

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How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

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Q: What's worse then 10 babies nailed to a tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

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Did you hear about the boy with the treehouse? He caught his mom cheating on his dad in there.

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I'm homeless.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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