What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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How do you have sex with 9 giraffes? you don't because that's weird

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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So a blonde a, a red head, and a brunette crash land on an island, they all died within a week...

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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A black man bites into a watermelon. Just kidding he was white.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

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A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

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Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

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Immaculate Misconception - Motionless In White \m/

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

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A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

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knock knock who's there greg greg who greg is crying because his grandma dementia made her forgot all about him

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A black man and a hispanic man are in a car. Who is driving? The guy who didn't call shotgun.

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Want to hear a popular joke? Women's Rights

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What do you get when you cross a Lion and a Shark? You would likely get trouble, seeing as its both animals are quite dangerous and crossing even one of them is ill advised.

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

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What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops