What happens when your first name is Newton? You get nicknamed NEWT

Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

The american education system.

pull my finger (farts)

Why did the chicken cross the road. Because the grocery store only sold pork

69

who's that hot blonde at the disco? your mother.

Why did Lucy drop her ice-cream ? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who is there ? NOT LUCY !

What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

Why did the black lady pick out a white dress? Because she thought it was a pretty white dress.

the comment about daniel was fron brock

Why don't you play cards with a cheetah? It will attack you.

Q:Why don't black people go on cruises? A:They already fell for that trick once.

Whats the same between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple except for the elephant

what time does the japanese guy go to the dentist? well his appointment was for 11:30, so he might show up approximately 5 minutes prior to the appointment time, just to make sure everything goes steadily as planned

donald................duck for president

What happened to the boy with no family? He died in a tragic car accident along with his family

Your mom.

Knock Knock Who's There Fat white lady with dreadlocks Fat white lady with dreadlocks who? want to buy some girls scout cookies?

Why did the chicken cross the road? So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.

A man walks outside and walks back in. Why? Because it was raining purple unicorns and he felt the need to go back inside.

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your definitely a virgin, too bad your mom isn't too.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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