How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Your momma's so fat she ate oranges and coffe

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why did the plane crash ? Because a loaf of brad was flying it, and Loaves of bread don't fly planes

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Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

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Why was a white man mowing his lawn ? The lawn was getting undesirably long which provoked the white man.

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guess what what ...

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What is veiny, turns hard, and has a tip at the end? The male genitalia used as a reproductive organ mainly in sexual intercourse known as a Penis.

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George Lopez never said anything funny in his life.

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ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, I OFFERED YOU SOME CEREAL, MADE OUT OF MY DOGS POO BY VICKY AND RENATA WOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

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Once i tried to do math ! She wasn't getting wet so i stopped!

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What's worse than seeing another antijoke with "The Holocaust" punchline repeated? The Holocaust.

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A blind man walk in to a bar... He then yells a 4 letter explative, backs up, and walks around it.

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What do you call two dog? dogs

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women's rights.

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What do you call a terrible Therapist that shoots coke up his nose? Sickman, Sickman Fraud.

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What did Ghandi tell St Peter as he passed through the Gates of Heaven? He didn't. There is no afterlife.

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what is my catphrase nothing I am too good to have one

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God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

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Why couldn't Horton hear a who? He was a loaf of bread.

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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Your mama is so white she helped pay for your education because she wants you to have the best opportunities in life.

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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Did you hear about the guy who fed his dog his baby? No Oh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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