Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

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what's blue , and you can urinate on it ? a rim block.

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What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

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What did Emmanuel Frimpong say to George Elokobi? you sir, are DENCH

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why did the magician stop doing magic ? he got hit by a bus and died

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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Q: what happens when Justin Bieber walks into bar? A: three things, blood on the bar floor, another vister at the celebrity hospital, and Justin Bieber with knifes and darts stuck in his chest!

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BRANDON LUI ROCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

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A kid goes into the ocean on a boogyboard and then gets eaten by a shark because the shark thought he was a seal.

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What do you call a black man with a knife in his hand? A surgeon.

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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24

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The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

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What is worse than 10 babys in 1 garbage can? 1 baby in 10 garbage cans.

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What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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What was the fly doing in the soup? Nothing, the guy ordered pizza.

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i like going to public parks and watching the kids run and yell because they dont know im using blanks

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yo momma so ugly that yo your birth certifiicate is an apology from thew condem factory

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What's black and yellow and flies? I dont know.

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once opon a time. never mind i'm just going to beat you kids.

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a blonde walks in to a bar, the bar tender gives him a free drink because he's a man and it's nazi germany

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A priest, a rabbi and a mullah walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the three, laughs and says "Please leave now, God is dead"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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