It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why did the black guy die... Herpees he didn't practice safe sex

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Its not a big mistake at all, if people do not want to get hypnotized you cant hypnotize them, or so I thought...

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Knock, knock. Who's there? FBI. FBI who? The FBI. We have your house surrounded. Pervert.

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what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

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A guy walks into a bar

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What is red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

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What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

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Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

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A gorilla walks into a bar. It goes on a killing spree, and is promptly put down by animal control.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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What do you call a Jew talking on a cellphone ? Well one should mind his/her business and shouldn't call people names and discriminate against them on religious or ethnic grounds .

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roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

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Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

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What did the blind girl say? Its dark in here.

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Why was the black man running down the street with a suitcase? He was late for work.

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What's more likely to happen in 2011 than the rapture? Finding my real parents.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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What did the german speech therapist say to his mute patient? There a few methods we can use to help you obtain the power of speech.

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Why was the All-black Basketball team disqualified? Because they all died in a hotel fire.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

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Why did the kid drop his ice-cream? Because he tripped on a dead guy!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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