Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

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Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

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haiku for you ladies and gents My mother once said, "Slow and steady wins the race" She died in a fire.

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

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What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

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wat do u say to a guy with a 3.5 cm choad wats hot tater tot

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Why did the camel cross the road? He was off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of OZ.

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how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

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What do you call a person with no arms or legs? I don't know, that's why I asked you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Orange. Orange Who? No, this is Homeland Security. We have raised the current terrorism threat level to Orange, which means there is a high risk of terrorist attacks. Please report any suspicious behavior.

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yo mama so fat she died from a heart attack

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A man walks into a vagina

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why couldnt the jew play basketball? He was handicapp

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i get tired of this shit let's have some grey goose

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Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

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Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

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Q: Why did the Asian man get fired from his job? A: He sexually assaulted his co-workers

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In soviet Russia...things are different

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you call a midget cripple with cerebral palsy? Unfortunate

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops