There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"

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OSS ARE RED VIOLENTS IS BLUE U BELONG THE ZOO I WILL BE THERE TO BUT LAUGHIN AT U

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did you hear about the fly on the toilet? i heard he got pissed off!

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Whos there Not Susie What did Susie get for Christmas? I don't know , she never opened it. Who high fived Susie? No one Why did Susie die? She got shot in the face

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BTW ANders she is gone, read below, seriously! And your mother is ugly, but she is so kind to me, so ill be nice to her too... Seducing a LONE WIDOW ME 32 years she... 180 and always blushing around me? Thats gonna be hard... No seriously, I kissed her on the cheek the other day, she moaned... And she aint that old... looks like a old 40 year old. ANDERS! AAAANDEERS! CHATTERTON!!! Anyway, tell your mom, that way Ill just need to enter, kill you, and you know... make her feel like she is ... 77 again? Nah she is ahornbag so she must be younger, wont kiss her on those lips though ANDERSSSss because she smokes, the others? Sure, Ill take a pic of her squirting! From the guy that taught you how to make any woman squirt... YOu fucking asshole!

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Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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You walk into a shopping centre, what wont you see? Madelin McCann.

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I'm a psychic. Don't believe me? Think of any number between 1 and 20. Got it? Your number is 17. Please comment if I got it right

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Knock-Knock Who's there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup-mustard.

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Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

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A: knock knock B: who's there A:come in B:come in who?

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What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck? Nothing. Ducks cannot speak, therefore this description negates all known living organisms.

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Who can walk on water? Not the guy in the wheelchair.

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What do you call a Black man sweeping the floor? A janitor.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To suck my dick

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what happened when u got some swag? i don't know u still don't have any

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A russian gives away vodka.

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why is andreas making a pizza? since he dosent get laid he likes the feeling of the sauce stinging on his dick

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roses are red violets are blue i had sex with your dog

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What did the monkey say to the lion? I'm being sexually abused by my handler, and feel so violated.

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Q) How many boring people does it take to screw in a light bulb? A) One

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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