A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

knock knock. who's there? me. me who? shut up im robbing you.

Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

Why did Jonathan choose to watch something else other than Geordie Shore? Jonathan is intellectual.

whats the difference between a black man playing basketball and a white man playing basketball? They are different races

A guy said a racist joke and he got beat up now he is in the hospital for what he said.

Why did Billy run away from a mysterious adult? He was playing the iconic game known as tag where 2+ people chase each other in an attempt to tag them.

Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

Chuck Norris tried to return some jeans to Target and when they didn't give him his money he kickeed them in the face.

What did the cat say to the chicken? Meow

What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

Why did Jimmy not go to school? Because Jimmy, along with his family, were killed in a horrible house fire. Knock Knock? Who's there? Not Jimmy...

Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

ill have a no.9 a n.9 large

Why did the boy jump off a cliff Because he was gay and committed suicide

I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

What do you call a black man in a suit and tie? Presumably affluent

why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

Yo mamma's so short that she is 12 inches below the average height of a woman at her age.

A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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