What do you call an office worker with no arms or legs? A paraplegic.

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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whats black, white, and red all over? your mum

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ert

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guy walks into a bar, ouch

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open it up and stick him in. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Take out the elephant and put in the giraffe.

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A mermaid found a magic lamp at the bottom of the ocean. She rubbed it and a cat with 9 lives came out so he didn't drown.

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How many skilled union workers does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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What do you call a banana in a blender? A banana in a blender. Duh

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What do you call a kid with no friends? ....a Sandy Hook survivor

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why did tom shut his bedroom door? grandma was fingering herself

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Whats better then a guard llama two Guard llamas

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How many Ethiopians can you fit in a car? Five in your standard sedan

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class is canceled. My professor died.

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Knock knock Who's there? Owl Owl who? Owl Johnson, your neighbor. Oh hi Owl, please come in.

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what's black and white and red all over? nothing... it's red

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How do you make a penguin fly? You strap it to the roof of a plane.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being chased by other cannibal chickens.

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How many babies can you fit on a ferris wheel? None, babies aren't allowed to ride

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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10 years later...... a baby is born in Japan and has 26 toes due to radiation

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops