Whats worst than a cold? Being shot in the face repeatadly by a rocket launcher until death.

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The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

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Why didn't the boy get a bike for christmas? He broke the bath tub.

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Why did the bear fall down? I shot it. Why did the second bear fall down? It tripped over the first one.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Flesh is green When the dead start to rise you're on my team

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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whats worse than dieing in an airplane? jumping out of the airplane to save yourself and emediatly getting shredded by the massive engine you did not have the wits to see.

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A bar walks into a man and the man walks into a watermelon then the watermelon walks into a black guy then the black guy walks into a piece of fried chicken then the piece of fried chicken walks into a hotdog then the hotdog walks into a wall then the wall walks into a horse then the horse walks into a jar of mayonaise then the jar of mayonaise walks into a can then the can walks into the bar

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he saw some pandas spooning.

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A rapist walks into a bar He orders a drink He wakes up the next morning naked on a hot chick He leaves not realizing that he is nude and is promptly escorted by the police to jail

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A man serves his wife dinner. She laughes and tells him it tastes funny. He then procedes to tell her that is because he put large amounts of poision into the food.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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why did the teenaged girl cry? she was about to have an abortion

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Q: You know what's really funny? A: A good joke.

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telling real jokes on anti-joke is a form of anti jokes

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Well, I guess it's back to the drawing board.

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What would Bruno Mars do if he was on the moon? Gasp and grab his throat in an attempt to get oxygen flowing into his lungs with no avail.

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"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "To the grocery store, I need to buy a couple of lemons"

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What did the old man say when those damn kids stepped on his lawn? Nothing one of those kids killed him around three years back....

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

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Knock Knock! "Use the friggin' doorbell!"

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Q: What was the proctologist doing on the street? A: He was observing the assfault.

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What did the black guy say to the other black guy? We are both black

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I like my women how I like my ice-cream Out cold.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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