Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? ... Well, do you know or not?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why was six afraid of seven? it's a long story, and six doesn't want to talk about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Me: What's the difference between a zebra and a slice of cheese? You: I don't know Me: Me neither

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you get we you mix a ginger with gasoline? A forest fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Why are you asking me this question? That's awful and you should be ashamed of yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldn't the little boy see? His eyes were closed.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHH!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do Yankees fans cheer for their favorite sports team? Let's go Yankees!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Kinky = using a feather Perverted = using the whole chicken Weird = using chicken bones Downright disgusting = all of the above, plus a cat

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the chicken cross the road ? how else is he going to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? He never did because he's in KFC

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Technically rainbows are white.....and have gold at the end.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Young Billy was arrested today for saying he was going to be a terrorist for Halloween.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

LET'S PLAY CARDS SHUFFLE THE DECK *person with a deck-patio* no please don't

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you kill Helen Keller? With a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete jumped out, who was left? Pete, the boat blew up and instantly killed repeat

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, because they have turned to alcoholism because there is no God. GO COMMUNISM, BOO AMERICA.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So a man walking down a nature trail came across an injured fox laying on the ground in pain, it looked like it was attacked recently. There wasn't much the man could do at the time, so he gently picked up the fox and rushed the fox to his house. The man arrives moments later at his house with the fox. There were a lot of options the man could choose, but he went with a simple recipe. The man grabbed a knife and gutted the fox, removing all unnecessary organs. He then skinned the fox of it's fur. He sliced the head off, cut the legs to a stub, and stuffed it. He gave it a nice seasoning and placed it in the oven at about 350F for 6 hours. When the fox was perfectly cooked, it was taken out of the oven and left to sit for about 5 minutes to cool. He cut a chunk of meat from the dish and sat down to eat. "What a fine meal" the man said.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops